Two months gone

So where have I been for two months? First, Morocco, where I lost my handbag, struggled through an Atlas Mountains trek we had looked forward to for years, and ate enough dirt (or something) to make me sick into early November. Then to studies in Dublin, and now teaching in Albania, with few days home in between.

All the while struggling and often succombing to avoidance behaviors, as Jesus' shekinah glory feels too bright, an all-consuming fire from which my humanity shies away--and I'm not sure why.

Yet I know God is good, and am hardly abandoned, to His glory and praise!

From the balcony

November 9th. Each morning I enjoy Your presence, and notice places of emptiness in the actions of the day past. Too often of late they are the same places. In the rarified atmosphere of Your morning presence obedient embrace and engagement seems simple and desirable, but by evening all is murky and irrelevant in my default to mindless avoidance of Your shekinah purity and its demands.

I think maybe I should stop praying until my life becomes a prayer, until my actions reflect listening obedience.