Consider Peter. He’s the outspoken disciple, the one we feel
we know best because he talks the most and because he says the things we would
say if we had the guts. He talks the most in the gospels, and there we know him
as the one crazy for Jesus who always gets it wrong. He talks the most in Acts
(leaving the later-come Paul aside), and there he speaks to crowds clearly and
effectively, stands courageous before the authorities, and sets out new understandings
of the gospel’s reach couched in wisdom gained through prayer and visions.
We marvel at the change. We say, “That’s the difference
Pentecost makes, the evidence of the transformation that is possible with the
Spirit’s indwelling of believers.” If we are honest, we also wonder: if that is
so, why are we not all so changed? But that is a subject for a different
conversation.
Spiritual listening, listening as a spiritual discipline,
has had my attention lately. Partly because I’ve been doing a lot of it, and
have been much in prayer for the grace and practices to do it in a way that
brings forth fruit. And partly because, as I read and pray with scripture,
things keep coming to mind that I have not noticed much before. Like Peter, and
the quality of his listening to Jesus.
Peter in the
gospels
Peter is all over the place. He grudgingly agrees to put
down his nets at Jesus’ suggestion, then pushes back from Him because Peter
knows his sinfulness. He wants to walk on water. He speaks without asking to
claim that Jesus, of course, pays the temple tax. Let’s take a quick look at
four vignettes.
Peter, in Matthew 16, declares that Jesus is the Christ, the
Son of God. Jesus responds with the enigmatic “you are Peter, and on this rock I will build my church.” In the
very next paragraph, Peter pushes back from Jesus’ talk of suffering, death and
resurrection: “Far be it from you, Lord!
This shall never happen to you.”
In Matthew 17, Peter is among the three chosen to witness
the Transfiguration. “Lord, it is good
that we are here. If you wish, I will make three tents here, one for you and
one for Moses and one for Elijah.”
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| This fresco makes me think of the Transfiguration somehow |
In Matthew 26, Jesus foretells Peter’s denial. Peter’s
response: “Though they all fall away
because of you, I will never fall away…. Even if I must die with you, I will
not deny you!”
Immediately following these words, Jesus asks weary,
confused Peter to wait with him and watch for an hour in prayer. Peter doesn’t
say anything this time. He just goes to sleep.
What strikes me today in all of these is the quality of
Peter’s listening to Jesus. Peter’s words make clear that he loves Jesus, that
he is willing to do anything for Jesus. He is there with Jesus. He hears what
Jesus says, and what is said about Him. He declares Jesus as Christ, Son of
God. But he, in each instance, makes clear by what he says and does that he
does not listen to Jesus. Oh, how we
identify with Peter in these moments!
Why does Peter respond as he does? He acknowledges Jesus as
Lord, but his own sense of self, of how things are supposed to happen, of what
he has to contribute to Jesus remains strong. He continues to live in the old
paradigm where Messiahs overthrow the Romans, success is marked by fame and
power, and the inner circle adds value through advice and action. He hears, he
attends to Jesus’ words, but feels free to disagree. Perhaps we could say that
Jesus is his lord, but not The Lord.
Peter in Acts
Post-pentecost Peter’s talk has an entirely different
flavor. The unschooled, impetuous fisherman speaks bold and wise truth to
crowds. He stands unflinching before authorities and calmly refuses to forsake
his proclamation of the gospel. He watches, listens, and speaks to Jesus in his
roof-top vision of Acts 10. He’s still Peter: in his roof-top prayer he pushes
back from God’s repulsive command with the cry, “By no means, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is common or
unclean!” But he no longer makes his personal revulsion, his
heart-resistance, the end of the conversation. Three times the vision is
repeated, and afterwards Peter sits in perplexity. But he remains open, it
seems, for when confronted with Cornelius’ request, he applies what God has
said and walks into a whole new knowledge of God’s heart for all humanity.
We say that the difference in Peter is due to the indwelling
of God’s Spirit following Christ’s death and resurrection; that, from
Pentecost, believers don’t simply follow Christ, but are indwelt by His
transforming presence that enables us to, in the measure of our surrender to
it, live out Jesus’ life in our mortal bodies.
What strikes me today about that is that a big mark of
Peter’s transformation is the quality of his listening. It has become spiritual
listening, listening enabled by the Spirit-life within Peter.
What are the markers of this quality of listening?
· Peter no longer sees himself or what he might
bring to the situation as necessary to Jesus. He is free to listen rather than
to jump up and do, as he offered to at the transfiguration.
· Peter no longer believes he knows his heart
better than Jesus knows it. Sweeping assertions of love and loyalty are
replaced by matter-of-fact, step-by-step offerings of power and grace through
words focused entirely on Jesus’ story and Jesus’ power to accomplish whatever
will happen in that moment.
· Though he has not entirely given up his habit of
contradicting Jesus, he now listens to how Jesus responds to his objection, and
he remains alert and watchful for how the new paradigm suggested by Jesus might
apply to the present moment. I love this, as it speaks to prayer as dialogue,
and to our freedom in prayer to be honest about what we find too repulsive, too
hard. But it shows this powerful freedom in transformational context, in right
conversation with a loving, understanding Lord.
· He stays with his prayer. He is found on the
roof-top praying. However he is proceeding, he is prepared to notice and to
listen when God speaks. He stays with the prayer long enough to absorb
something of the power of what has been revealed, long enough to prepare
himself to act in accordance with what God has shown him as he prayed.
Much on my heart as I consider how Peter was so transformed
by the indwelling of the Spirit is what that has to say in our own life and
experience. Today I wonder how much of the real transformation comes about in a
new ability to lean into, to listen for, what the Spirit of Jesus has to tell,
and then to sit with it long enough to let it transform our response, our actions
in this world.
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